The Price of Survival
by Bellarke77
Summary: Former one-shot now being continued based off of the promo for 4x11. Bellamy won't stop until he's made it out of the bunker to save Octavia. Clarke can't let him leave. How far is she willing to go to stop him?
1. Survival

"Bellamy!"

He froze. His hand had begun to reach for the gun in the waistband of his pants until he recognized the all too familiar voice calling his name.

 _Clarke_

He turned slowly, hesitantly, to face her. His eyes widened when he saw the gun she had pointed at him. Determination shone in her eyes, but he could see past the confident facade she bore, he has seen it on himself far too many times.

He raised his hands to show her he was unarmed, any thought of pulling out his weapon long gone from his mind. Clarke didn't budge as she continued to hold the gun aiming straight at him.

"What are you doing?" He asked, still frozen in place.

"What I have to. Like always."

He had taken out the two guards assigned to follow him and the ones stationed at the door. He had Abby distract Jaha in return for his promise to bring Kane back with him if he made it out. He had even found a way to temporarily disable the security cameras so he could escape unnoticed. He thought he had considered everything. Of all the times to forget the captivating girl before him how had he let it be now.

"You don't have to do this Clarke." He spoke uneasily, putting his hands down but still not making any move to go forward or back.

"I can't let you open that door, you know that." Her voice was shaking as was the hand she had clasping the gun. He knew he could probably take his chances disarming her but he didn't want to risk it.

"Well then you're going to have to kill me, because I'm not going to stay here while my sister's out there. You know that."

She knew him all too well, lately it felt like she was the only one who understood him at all.

"You don't even know if she's alive Bellamy. The radiation levels are increasing by the minute in three days the only people who will survive will be in this bunker." She had thought this moment through. That much was clear.

"Yeah, well maybe I don't want to survive without her. Maybe I'm done surviving Clarke." His voice cracked as he recalled his world crumbling down when he thought Echo had killed Octavia only a few days earlier. He thought about Jasper who was so sick of the people they had become to survive that he'd rather die than spend another day _surviving_.

"Don't say that." The statement didn't sound right with her still pointing a gun at him. "I know how much you love her Bellamy but you can't just give up because of this. You can't put every single one of us in danger because-"

"What if it was someone you loved out there? What if it was your mom everyone was perfectly fine pretending was a lost cause!"

"I did everything I could to make sure the people I care about were in here before those doors shut. If that hadn't been enough I would have accepted it. The survival of the human race is more important than one person."

"Then why the hell am I here Clarke? You know I'm not going to stop until I get out those doors. You may as well have left me out there for dead too."

"You know why I couldn't do that Bellamy. I need you. We all do. We would have saved Octavia if we could there just wasn't enough time, it wasn't poss-"

"I'm done listening to your damn excuses! When did it become okay for us to start leaving people behind. My sister is out there, I know it because unlike you I didn't send her into that conclave to die. I'm not leaving her out there."

"Don't make me do this Bellamy. I don't want to lose you, but I can't let you open that door." Her words were strained and her hold on the gun was unstable. He could probably release her grasp on it if he took his chance.

"Maybe you should be more concerned about losing yourself. The Clarke I know, the girl who was sent down here with the other hundred of us, she wasn't okay with letting her friends and hundreds of people die."

Her look of determination was breaking down and he could tell his words were getting to her. He knew he was hitting a sore spot. He thought far too often about all the mistakes he had made down here himself. He couldn't imagine Clarke had done any different.

"Who we are and who we need to be to survive are two very different things."

She was throwing his own words in his face and he shouldn't have been surprised. How many times had he told himself those words?

"What's the point of surviving like this? What's the point of surviving if you have nothing left to live for."

"Octavia isn't all you have."

"No." As he looked at her he knew she was right. As much as he'd tried to deny it, as much as he tried to push away the truth, as much as he had hoped for it to fade away…

"No she's not all I have. But I can't live with myself knowing that I didn't do everything I could to stop her from dying."

His body seemed to be able to work again because he was walking towards her now. Down the clanking metal steps, drawing closer till he was right in front of her. Clarke stiffened and tightened her hold on the gun as Bellamy stepped close enough that the barrel was pressing into his chest.

"So if you're not going to let me walk through that door that you're going to have to kill me Clarke, and you're going to have to live with letting two of your friends die pointlessly."

"Bellamy…" Her voice was hoarse and her eyes watered as she spoke.

How had they wound up here?

"Come on Princess, do it. Save the human race. Survive again, like always."

He wasn't sure whether she would do it or not. He had such faith in Clarke as a leader, he knew she would do anything to protect her people. But he also had faith in Clarke the person, the girl who had been his moral compass when they first landed on this planet. The girl who had convinced him that he wasn't a monster and stopped him from becoming one.

Bellamy had faced death so many times he wasn't sure if he should fear it anymore. Maybe the stupidest thing of all was that he was more afraid of Clarke pulling the trigger and having to bear the guilt of his death then his actual death itself.

How had he wound up feeling this way?

"I...I can't, I have to-" her words came out in broken phrases, attempts to try and regain her sense of control. She'd been in control for so long she'd forgotten what it was like to be powerless.

"Clarke-"

"Stop him now!"

The door burst open and Jaha's commanding voice filled the room as a series of guards poured in. Bellamy barely had time to move before they had surrounded him. He knew it was useless fighting back but he still did. He had to.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Clarke drop the gun. He heard it clatter to the ground just as he was jolted by a taser to the back of his neck by one of the guards he recognized as Miller. As he fell to the ground he stole one final glance at Clarke as he had so many weeks ago on their journey to find Luna before he had faded from consciousness.

He saw the tears that had welled in her eyes roll down her cheeks as she looked down at him. As her eyes locked with his he almost felt bad for her. It was ridiculous. She was the reason his sister was going to die.

Just before he lost consciousness he saw her mouth the words to him.

 _I'm sorry_


	2. AN

Hey everyone, thanks so much for the feeback! I'm glad everyone's been liking this so far! I'm thinking about continuing and I have some ideas about how to carry this on but I want to know who would be interested in this being an actual story first. Let me know in the reviews! Thanks XXX


	3. From the Ashes

**Hey everyone! So I wasn't going to continue this story but I've been missing the 100 and Bellarke so much over this hiatus that I decided to continue it and see where it goes. I already have a lot of ideas surronding the plot of Bellamy, Clarke, and the others being stuck in the bunker rather then how things wound up in the season 4 finale, and I have some ideas for once they make it out after five years (I'll probably do a huge time jump at some point to make that happen) Anyway, last chapter is replacing everything cannon in 4X11 so what is revealed in this chapter makes more sense. I'll be continuing on with Octavia winning the conclave but I've changed a few other details and I'll be changing a lot more as time goes on. Anyway, enough drawling on, enjoy!**

The first thing that hit Bellamy was a searing pain that traveled from his neck to the back of his skull, making his vision go blurry as he began to open his eyes uneasily. He released a groan as he attempted to move, but his body failed him. His vision finally came into focus as he realized he was lying in the makeshift infirmary of the bunker, an IV needle stuck in his arm, and a blonde with worry shining brightly in her eyes at his bedside.

 _Clarke_

"You're awake," she noted, moving closer and placing a hand on his arm as she noticed his attempt to try and sit up. "Take it easy. You hit your head pretty hard, you have a severe concussion. It could have been a lot worse but-"

Bellamy ignored her words as he continued his struggle to sit up, suppressing a groan as he finally managed to lean himself on the bed rest and rise to a sitting position, attempting to pull the IV from his arm. "Bellamy!" Clarke chastised him as she attempted to pull his hand back, but even in his weakened state he was stronger than her. "Calm down you're going to hurt yourself," she pleaded

"I'm getting the hell out of here. Feel free to try and gun me down again but don't pretend to be concerned just so I'll stay," he spat out, perhaps a bit harsher then was necessary, but the thought of what could have happened to Octavia while he was knocked out...

"Bellamy, wait! You don't understand!"

"Oh I understand perfectly well Clarke. You were doing what you had to, and that's exactly what I'm doing now," he insisted as he finally pulled the needle of the IV from his arm and managed to stand up unsteadily. He had barely managed a step before a pang of pain washed through him causing him to stumble forward. Clarke seemed to be prepared for this as she quickly grabbed a hold of him to steady his movements. Their eyes met for a second and Bellamy could see the guilt in her gaze mixed with something he could nearly label as concern. Ironic considering she had been aiming a gun at him not too long ago.

"Bellamy, please get back in bed," she urged him.

"We both know I can't do that," he stated simply as he poorly attempted once again to move forward, causing Clarke to tighten her hold on him.

"You're not listening to me," she said, annoyance seeping into her voice as Bellamy tried for another step forward. "Bellamy, she's fine! Octavia's fine! We retrieved her and Kane and Raven and they're all inside here, safe. Your sister is safe." Her voice was soothing as she finally managed to hold him still.

Bellamy looked to her confused. Was it true? Could his sister really be down here with them, perfectly fine, or was this some sort of twisted lie to stop him from attempting to escape again? She had to know he'd never forgive her for something like that, but was his forgiveness something she still craved, or had that desire been lost somewhere along the road of all the deadly desicions she'd had to make recently? As much as Bellamy hated to admit it, no matter what happened he was certain he would always look to Clarke for that sense of...approval? Affirmation? A guarantee that someone understood all the terrible things he had done? That he wasn't a complete monster for them?

Clarke seemed to notice the confliction in his expression. "I wouldn't lie to you about this," she assured him before adding, "She sat in here with you from the moment she arrived but they pulled her away to report what happened at the conclave. She... She won Bellamy. Octavia did it, she survived."

He could feel the swell of pride in his chest at that news. Octavia had done it. Then again, he never had any doubt that she could survive the conclave after everything else she'd been through. His little sister continued to amaze him more and more with every passing day.

Bellamy sat down on the edge of the bed, causing Clarke to release a sigh of relief. He looked up to her feeling more conflicted than ever with this news. He didn't want to be upset with her about what happened earlier, after all he may have done the same thing but still...it felt like something had shifted inside him. Would Clarke really have killed him? There were plenty of measures Bellamy would take to protect the people down here who had grown to consider him a leader but hurting Clarke? He wouldn't even consider it. Perhaps it was foolish to think she felt the same way.

"I wasn't going to do it."

It was like she could read his mind.

"I wouldn't blame you if you did. You were just doing what was you thought was best to save everyone."

"I know that but... I still wouldn't have done it Bellamy. I-" her voice cracked slightly as she avoided his gaze, pacing to the other end of the room before continuing, her voice a little more certain this time, "I wouldn't have done it. I just want you to know that."

"Are you the one who got Octavia inside?"

"You were right. We don't leave people behind."

"Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me. You're the one who didn't give up on her. You were willing to risk your life to do what was right, you did the right thing."

Bellamy managed a playful grin. "Since when am I the one making good decisions?"

Her smile was nearly microscopic but it was still there. "A lot has changed."

"Not everything," he pointed out, his gaze drifting up to meet hers. The smallest hint of a smile still rested on her lips as she held his gaze. The rest of the world seemed to fade away and for the briefest moment it was just him and Clarke. And it felt right.

She was the first to look away.

"I'll see if I can find Octavia, let her know you're awake," she said, already heading for the door.

"Clarke." He paused as she turned to face him. "Thank you."

"I already told you-"

"I know, but still. Thank you."

She shook her head, that ghost of a smile playing on her lips once again as she spoke. "You're the one I should be thanking, you... you were right."

"I could get used to the sound of that," he teased, receiving a slight chuckle and an eye roll in return.

"Goodbye Bellamy."

 **Hope you all enjoyed that! Please make sure to favorite, follow, and especially review so I can get a sense of what you're all thinking about this story and where you'd like it to go. Also, it'd be super helpful if you all let me know what you prefer in terms of updates, I can continue doing chapters of about this length ever two days or so, or I can make them longer and post twice a week, let me know what you think! Also, this has been Bellamy's point of view for the most part but I'm not opposed to writing in Clarke's so let me know your thoughts on that too. Thank you guys!**


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